My Dad

This past week marked the one year mark of my father passing away, and its hard to believe that a year has already gone by. He passed away last year after falling ill over the summer, and then went downhill in a matter of two weeks. It was a sad time for my family, as can be expected.

My father and I were never very close. It is sad to think about that, as I never was "Daddy's little girl" and we really didn't share much. We rarely spoke, as every time I called home he'd put my mother on the phone. When I went home, we spent time together, but never alone. In between those visits and phone calls, I'll have to admit I didn't think about him much.

However, I have thought of my dad more this past year than I did the previous five years combined. It seems so strange, as he really was never a part of my life, but I found myself thinking of him so much these past 12 months, and definitely more this past week. On Monday night at 8pm, I thought of my call to my sister one year earlier when I heard the words that he died. I thought of him on so many occasions this past year, it doesn't seem to make sense to me. I hear that is normal though.

Maybe I'm wondering why we never had a good relationship, why it was always strained. Maybe I am wishing he was more loving, or happier, or not as angry. A daughter is supposed to have a great relationship with her dad, but it certainly wasn't with us. I know he loved me and our family, but he didn't always show it. I see dad's in my office just loving their daughter's, and I hope that continues for you all. For those of you who don't, maybe that should change, so there is no regret later on. I wish he and I had a better relationship, and though I'm thankful for what he did bring to me, I always longed for more.

Life is too short to have strained relationships, and not to make the most of the life you are given. For those of you who have poor relationships with others, work to patch those. If your health has suffered lately, work to regain it. You only have one life, one body, one chance, so make the most of it. You'll be happy you did.